Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
