I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Apparently you make a good broom.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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