Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize