i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize