i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
