Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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