I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
