we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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