My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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