My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
