just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize