Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
