my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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