come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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