I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
