apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
