This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
