i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
