If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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