No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
