I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize