You work out of a Hotel?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
