i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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