Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
