I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
