I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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