You can't special order awesome
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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