i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
