I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just cropdusted the office
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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