don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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