You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just found a bag of teeth...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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