look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.