she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
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we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
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He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.