Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Enjoy the penises