His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.