okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.