Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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