Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it's like iHOP with fire
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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