Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
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Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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