Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
