singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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