he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
