This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize