Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
