I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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