idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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