my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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