He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We are all done wearing pants today
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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