the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
