we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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