I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
