I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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