We named our party play list daddy issues
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
