Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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