Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
