Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
