god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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