I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We are two peas in an std pod
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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