Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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