there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
