she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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