im gay
i know
yea but for you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
